I fancy myself an intrepid, if boozy, anthropologist.

Posts tagged ‘worst drink ever’

Pencil skirts, Raccoons and Inept Bartenders.

SO…. the wedding.

Apparently the festivities started Friday night (the rehearsal dinner).  As the best man’s wife, I was probably supposed to go to that, but to be fair I didn’t really know about it.  And I had other plans.  So while Pool Boy did that, I had a large herd of friends over to watch movies, drink wine and eat junk food.  (I think I won that round.)

Being the procrastinator that I am, I didn’t have a dress to wear to the wedding yet (well, I probably did, but where’s the fun in wearing something you already own?) so I headed out for a day of dress shopping first thing Saturday morning.  That sounds WAY more fun that it actually was.  When will these damn pencil skirts go out of style??  They are NOT kind to women with massive hips.

After about 10 dresses I finally narrowed it down to 2 and bought them both.  One made me look proportional and was not entirely UN-flattering.  The other dress was a stretchy tweed that I felt had the potential to be really flattering with a pair of heavy duty Spanx.  But then, what doesn’t?

I finally decided on the tweed one, although I couldn’t decide if I looked AMAZING or if I looked like a black and white snake that had swallowed a large animal.  I’ll spare you the actual visual on this particular point.

From there I painted on enough eye makeup to embarrass a raccoon, did a smashing job on my hair (if I do say so myself) and headed out – all the while vowing to enjoy the evening and keep my mouth shut.

Actual picture of me from Saturday night

The ceremony was nice, and it was also very short (yay!)  But then the reception was a cash bar (boo.)

Speaking of the reception bar:  Worst bartender EVER.  I ordered a martini and he gave me a highball full of ice and vermouth.  WTF.  He didn’t even throw in an olive.  It’s gin in a martini glass for fuck’s sake.  It’s not complicated.  The glass is even named after the drink.  My mother in law ordered a Tom Collins and was served margarita mix with a splash of vodka.  Yikes.

Seriously though, the reception was a lot of fun.  The bride looked amazing the happy couple seemed to be in 7th heaven. I reconnected with a lot of people I had met once or twice before.  People that I had met and thought “wow, I really like these people!” but then had’t seen again.  Hopefully it won’t be another year before we actually get together.  Of course we all drunkenly vowed to hang out but we’ll see if it actually comes to fruition.  We are Facebook friends now, so that’s a step in the right direction…

 

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