I fancy myself an intrepid, if boozy, anthropologist.

Posts tagged ‘work’

Random musings for a Tuesday that feels like a Monday.

  • I actually lost some weight last week, in spite of the booze & BBQ-filled weekend I had.  Go Weight Watchers, go!  I also online-friended my buddy Nicole up in Detroit who is doing WW with me.  I’m not sure what being WW friends does for us, but I hope it sends her messages each week that say something like “Hi Nicole!  We noticed your friend Sarah gained 2 lbs last week.  Why don’t you pop over to her page and call her a fatass to help keep her motivated?”  That would be HILARIOUS, but I doubt that’s a function of the program somehow.  Nicole would totally do it, though.
  • I am now friends with Nicole on Facebook, Google +, Pinterest, Weight Watchers, the Andriod Chat thingy we have on our phones and possibly Spotify and/or Twitter… it’s a little absurd to be honest.  I belong to too many “things”.  Just show me a bandwagon and I’ll jump right on.
  • Pool Boy has just accepted a job with a major Video Game company.  This means that he now has an endless supply of free video games and I have an endless supply of free high-tech toys given that I work for a toy/robotics company.  I feel this has increased our geek-quotient exponentially.  Excellent.  I feel this has also increased the chances that Donovan will be SPOILED-SPOILED-SPOILED when he grows up if we’re not careful.
  • The Booze Cruise was fun, but I’m starting to feel really old on trips like that despite being one of the youngest people there.  As much as I love to drink (and believe you me… I do love to drink) I don’t like getting drunk.  I also don’t particularly like drunk people.
  • The high point of the booze cruise was when our sexy-yet-ditzy driver was supposed to pick us up at the dock.  This is a TINY marina that should be impossible to get lost in.  In theory, it should also have been easy to spot the 4 of us sitting alone in the middle of an empty parking lot on top of our coolers.  After about 30 minutes of trying to figure out where the hell he was, Pool Boy took off on foot to try and find him and guide him back to us.
             Driver:  I’m at the gate but it’s locked up.
             Me:  Then you’re at the wrong gate.
             Driver:  But this is where Sarah told me to go!
             Me:  … but I’m Sarah.
             Driver:  Are you on a boat?
             Me:   No…?
             Driver:  I can see boats from here.
             Me:  Yes.  This is a marina.  That doesn’t help us any.
             Driver:  Oh wait, we’re good!  John is here!
             Me:  Who the hell is John?
             Driver:  Sarah’s Husband!
             Me:  Ok… Again, I’M SARAH.  Also, my husband’s name isn’t John.
This is funny because we use this guy ALL THE TIME.  We all know each other really well.  We’re even Facebook friends at this point.
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It’s Friday! Here’s what I have learned this week:

1.  My husbands benefits from me being on weight watchers in that I occasionally cook dinner now!  Well, sort of benefits.

2.  Apparently healthy food (or possibly my cooking) makes my husband violently ill.  Get better soon, Pool Boy.

3.  Toddlers + slides = static

"OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!"

4.  My boss has never seen Office Space, therefore he doesn’t understand why I cringe everytime he says “That would be great.”  He also probably doesn’t understand why people keep stealing my red swingline stapeler.

5.  While I am generally amazed at what my son can understand, apparently the phrase “careful, that’s heavy” is not among those he’s grasped.

Unfortunately, the banana was a casualty in this little incident.

6.  In discussing our pasts, I learned I am apparently the only person in the whole office (male or female) who has never been in a physical fight.  Hearing the ladies get all in to these stories about knocking another girl’s teeth out has made me a little afraid.

7.  Cocker Spaniels and  Toddlers are equally interested in tennis balls.  They’re also surprisingly equally matched in terms of fighting over said tennis ball.

8.  Everyone at work that’s all decked out in camo is not wearing it for a fashion statement, which is a relief I suppose… rather everyone is getting up early to go hunting and coming in to work afterwards.  (Insert “Deliverance” theme here)

9.  “I have to take off early today – I have a booze cruise tonight” is apparently an acceptable excuse for leaving work early.

10.  Since BBC1 is no longer available on my Sirius radio, I have tried listening to Cosmo radio.  This week I learned that is NOT an option.  My brain cells die a little each time I tune in.  I think I would fare better drinking ACTUAL Cosmo’s on my way to work.

What did YOU learn this week?

For my first post: a sampling of the hilarity I work with every day.

The Cautionary Tale of Jay the Intern:

This morning, our company owner and a few of the presidents (everyone’s a president of something around here) hopped on the private jet to go pick up one of our major customers and bring him down for a visit.

The owner called ahead to one of our interns and asked him to pick up some breakfast tacos from a local gas station (because that’s how he rolls).  Intern was SUPER STOKED to be able to do something for the head honchos!

He hops in his fancy ‘my-parents-are-rich’-mobile and takes off like a bat out of hell.  Gets to the Get-It-Kwick, picks up his big bag o’ tacos and heads to the local private airport where he can just drive up on the tarmac and deliver the tacos like the breakfast-bearing hero that he is.

He decides to take the dirt-road shortcut to shave off a few minutes… and that, my friends, was his undoing.  You see dirt roads are tricky if you’re not used to driving on them.  Sudden sharp turns at a high rate of speed are a very bad idea.  Unfortunately Home Boy ended up totaling his car.  Fortunately he was unhurt!!

But he was SO CLOSE!  So close he could see the airport and the jet sitting on the runway.  He thinks to himself “If I run, I can make it!”  So he valiantly grabs his bag of tacos and takes off in a sprint towards the airport…. and gets there just in time to see the jet take off.

Guess who gets to eat gas station breakfast tacos this morning, courtesy of the defeated intern?  This girl.