I fancy myself an intrepid, if boozy, anthropologist.

Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

Hello Halloween… We meet again.

Halloween is quickly upon is, it would seem!  (Have you been out in stores lately??)  As most of you know, Halloween is the bane of my existance.

This year might be different, to be fair, since I have a son I can maybe take trick-or-treating, which would be AWESOME.  (Halloween as a kid = fun!  Halloween as a single adult = annoying.  Halloween as a mom = potentially fun again)  But since I was too old to Trick-or-Treat myself, it has hands-down be my least favorite holiday.  The reason?  The costumes.  Women’s costumes, to be specific.

Nuns: Also not sexy.

“I’m a sexy kitty!”  “I’m a sexy Minnie Mouse!”  “I’m a sexy girl scout!”  Ladies:  Cats are not sexy.  If your man finds cats sexy, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship.  Minnie Mouse?  Also not sexy.  Girl scouts???  Seriously.  That’s just creepy.

Sure, some women put actual thought in to their costumes and come up with something original, but it seems like the vast majority of women just dress up like floozies and try to pretend their costume is clever.

The best example of this would be from several years ago when my (then) boyfriend’s best friend was dating a girl that wore her Christmas lingere out on the town and claimed she was Santa for Halloween.  First off, that’s the wrong holiday, you dingbat.  Secondly, that’s not a costume, it’s underwear.  Thirdly (is that a word?) Santa is a man.  Fourthly (now I’m blatantly just making up words) – the maribu trim across the top of your panties makes it look like you have a giant white bush.  Not good.

The thing is, if women would just SAY “I’m going out in my underwear because it’s the one night of the year where I can dress like a total prostitute and no one will judge me!!” then I would totally be cool with that!  I (of all people) am not one to judge ANY level of sluttiness.

Own it ladies!  Go ahead and slut it up!  Just don’t try and convince me you’re supposed to be a cat.