I fancy myself an intrepid, if boozy, anthropologist.

Halloween is quickly upon is, it would seem!  (Have you been out in stores lately??)  As most of you know, Halloween is the bane of my existance.

This year might be different, to be fair, since I have a son I can maybe take trick-or-treating, which would be AWESOME.  (Halloween as a kid = fun!  Halloween as a single adult = annoying.  Halloween as a mom = potentially fun again)  But since I was too old to Trick-or-Treat myself, it has hands-down be my least favorite holiday.  The reason?  The costumes.  Women’s costumes, to be specific.

Nuns: Also not sexy.

“I’m a sexy kitty!”  “I’m a sexy Minnie Mouse!”  “I’m a sexy girl scout!”  Ladies:  Cats are not sexy.  If your man finds cats sexy, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship.  Minnie Mouse?  Also not sexy.  Girl scouts???  Seriously.  That’s just creepy.

Sure, some women put actual thought in to their costumes and come up with something original, but it seems like the vast majority of women just dress up like floozies and try to pretend their costume is clever.

The best example of this would be from several years ago when my (then) boyfriend’s best friend was dating a girl that wore her Christmas lingere out on the town and claimed she was Santa for Halloween.  First off, that’s the wrong holiday, you dingbat.  Secondly, that’s not a costume, it’s underwear.  Thirdly (is that a word?) Santa is a man.  Fourthly (now I’m blatantly just making up words) – the maribu trim across the top of your panties makes it look like you have a giant white bush.  Not good.

The thing is, if women would just SAY “I’m going out in my underwear because it’s the one night of the year where I can dress like a total prostitute and no one will judge me!!” then I would totally be cool with that!  I (of all people) am not one to judge ANY level of sluttiness.

Own it ladies!  Go ahead and slut it up!  Just don’t try and convince me you’re supposed to be a cat.


Comments on: "Hello Halloween… We meet again." (9)

  1. Brillant. I love it. And although Halloween is one of my FAVORITE Holidays, I do try really hard not to buy a costume in a bag with the word “Leg Avenue” on it. Whilst living in Chicago, I only had one little run in with that… Last year, I was ‘St. Pauli Girl’ but that was ONLY because I had been “forced” to buy the eighty dollar costume to wear to Oktoberfest, and needed to feel like I had gotten my money’s worth by wearing it again, so I repurposed it. David was Sam Adams. Otherwise, I was an INFLATEABLE Crocodile (NOT sexy – David was Steve Irwin!), a FAT Cow (NOT sexy – David was Mrs. O’Leary!), A Flapper (this was a shopping-20 minutes-before-we’re-supposed-to-be-at-the-party problem, but it wasn’t especially sexy…), Juno (non-pregnant-first-scene-with-the-Converses-and-the-Sunny-D-Juno, David was Paulie Bleeker), and finally, a friggin’ JELLYFISH! (Also, NOT SEXY.) ; ) That Jellyfish suit may ride again this year, now that we live someplace overflowing with children who might get a kick out of it. : )

    So your blog begs the question… What will Sarah be for Halloween this year?! You’ve got to make Dono proud! : D

    • I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cow/Mrs. O’Leary idea! Especially since DAVID was Mrs. O’Leary! I agree that the Jellyfish idea could be awesome. I haven’t seen it, but it sounds pretty fabulous!

      I hadn’t given much thought in to what I would be this year. I’ve boycotted the holiday for as long as I cam remember! But, if we’re going to go Trick-or-Treating, I should probably dress up I suppose. Should I do something that coordinates with Dono’s costume? Like make him a bee and I could be a beekeeper? He already has a Dalmatian costume we got from a friend, but I’m not sure what I could be that would tie in with that. Should I just be something entirely separate??

      • You would make a pretty awesome Cruella!!! Tall, dark hair, light skin… It’s in the bag!!! I’m like the Beekeeper idea too. I’m all about coordinating costumes. : )

      • Last year we went to the halloween dress-up deal at Puptown dog park (across the street from our building) and these 2 guys dressed up as beekeepers and dressed their little pug up as a bee. It may have been the cutest thing I have ever seen!

        But I’m REALLY liking your Cruella Deville idea!!!!

      • You could dress Dono up as a jellyfish, you can dress up as Dory from Nemo and then you can refer to Dono as “bad squishy!”

  2. I think the nuns outfit looks sexy but maybe thats just my age 🙂

  3. At nearly 8 months pregnant, I was going to go as a nun. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t have been very okay at my conservative work place filled with very religious people and we didn’t get invited to a party so I never did it. I guess I’ll have to hope to be knocked up at some Halloween in the future. I have a really good idea for a costume this year that you would appreciate, but I don’t want to say anything!

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